El Niche Cache
February 1, 2021
Podcast
TNC Variety Show coming early in the week, The Niche Cast coming later in the week.
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Reading Menu
Monday Morning Dummy Half: Aotearoa Kiwis Halves and Fullbacks (NRL)
Blackcaps T20I Landscape Reality Check (Cricket)
Crunching The Numbers From The Blackcaps’ Undefeated Home Test Match Streak (Cricket)
2020/21 Aotearoa Super Smash: Wellington Cricket Appreciation (Cricket)
Sean Marks Has Now Completed His Team Of Brooklyn Nets Supervillains (NBA)
Monday Morning Dummy Half: Big Future Kiwis (NRL)
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Scotty’s Word
Mercury is retrograde and while things are quite amazing for us mellow kiwis here in Aotearoa as we bask in summer glory, the world’s shenanigans have hit a nek level with the USA stock market stuff. Not to mention dramas in other countries. This battle between the higher mind, good vibes etc and the negative thoughts that can swell due to any point of niggle has had me in a whirlwind generally and specifically with matters such as Roger Tuivasa-Sheck.
I did a bit on RTS in last week’s email, then Saturday morning I expanded on it only to delete what was published as RTS’ move to rugby union was confirmed. All emotions have been felt, although the sadness and negativity isn’t warranted and was more a product of such news coming at a weird time. Moving through the mud wasn’t exactly fun, it was required as like with any mental battles you can always wind up finding a spot of love, light and gratitude.
RTS is a pretty amazing dude and while I ran through logical reasons as to why staying in league would be wise, at least for the last year of his contract (2022), not a whole lot about RTS’ moves have mode logical sense. In diving back into his journey, RTS has operated from a slightly more wholesome perspective and has just flowed with what his intuition offered.
First, myself and the Wildcard both attended Papatoetoe Intermediate School and this paragraph hit home like a yummy steak and cheese...
We definitely can’t claim being from Otara, it’s right next to Pap though and Pap Int literally brought these two communities together. RTS started playing rugby union with East Tamaki Rugby Club where he was coached by Eric Rush - who is mainly a Northland legend with a slice of Otara/South Auckland legend status - before moving into Otahuhu College’s 1st 15 and 1st 13.
In 2011, RTS led Otahuhu College to the NZ Secondary Schools Rugby League title and was also named in the Auckland Blues Under 18 team, then the NZ Secondary Schools Rugby Union team. Here are some notable names from all three squads…
2011 NZSSTT
Sam Lisone, Chris Satae.
2011 Auckland Blues Under 18
Joe Edwards (France), So’otala Fa’aoso (France), Simon Hickey (Hurricanes), Alex Hodgman (Blues), Sione Mafileo (Blues), Scott Scrafton (Hurricanes), Patrick Tuipulotu (Blues), Lolagi Visinia (Japan/NZ), Albert Vete (England SL).
2011 NZ Secondary Schools
Ardie Savea, Patrick Tuipulotu, Scott Scrafton, Sione Mafileo, Michael Collins, Ngani Laumape, Simon Hickey.
NZ Warriors signed Ngani Laumape, Albert Vete and Ngataua Hukutai (Hukutai was in both union teams listed, but doesn’t appear to be playing anywhere notable now).
The one player profile delivered with the NZSS union squad list was none other than RTS’ and there are a couple of lols
RTS was hunted by both codes in leaving Otahuhu College and as you can see, some seeds were planted at this time. Above he lists NZ Warriors as his favourite non-rugby sports team and…
RTS didn’t want to leave NZ after school, but what did lure him over to Sydney Roosters was everything the Roosters could offer off the field. Peep a low key insight into the illusion of the Roosters ‘salary sombrero’ as they have the same salary cap as all other NRL teams, the difference is their budget for support at the levels below NRL. RTS had the best teams from either code chasing him and he opted for the best wholesome fit that would set him up.
RTS won the 2013 NRL Premiership with Roosters and in the same year as he was named Dally M Fullback of the Year, RTS took up a deal with NZ Warriors. This dude left the Roosters while he and the club were at a peak, to move back to Auckland and join NZ Warriors. Ponder Joey Manu, who followed an extremely similar path to RTS and I highly doubt Manu will be leaving Roosters for Warriors any time soon; RTS bounces to his own drum.
At NZ Warriors, RTS suffered a major knee injury. RTS endured some prickly times with Stephen Kearney and he also blossomed into a leader. I’d love RTS to win a Premiership with the Warriors this year because other than jacking up incredible stats and mana, not much winning has been done (hence I’ve felt sad upon reflection).
Now RTS will move to rugby union. This starts with a definite pay cut and there aren’t too many blokes who change code for a pay cut, let alone a cluttered path to Super Rugby and then All Blacks. RTS has taken a pay cut for a harder path to higher honours…
…because he just wants to chill in Auckland with his family. I am intrigued as to how RTS flows through rugby union, but any ideas of what he could be or what level he can crack kinda misses the point. Like when he left NZ for what the Roosters could offer him as a young man, like when he left Roosters for what the Warriors could offer him as an emerging leader, now RTS makes a move to take him further as a man and father.
I’ve battled this because I kept putting my sporting goggles on. I could dive deep into where RTS fits into various rugby teams, how his skills overlap and what not. I’m keeping those goggles in the draw for this topic though as RTS is someone who has consistently made moves to better himself as a human and I’d rather sit back to see how RTS raises his mana even further in his next move.
Roger Tuivasa-Sheck is a pretty special dude. Mauri ora.
Wildcard’s Notebook
My friends, something strange is going on with Australian cricket. There was this article in the Sydney Morning Herald the other day which made for some hilarious reading as various ‘sources within the camp’ had a right old moan about Justin Langer’s coaching. They claimed anonymously that he was too strict (headmaster vibes, they reckon) and too much of a micromanager, theorising that being in charge of all three formats was maybe too much work. Which is actually a curious sidebar coz I’d been wondering already, in light of Blackcaps stuff and how much we seem to struggle to differentiate the T20 format from other cricket when it comes to selections and priorities, whether a specialist T20 coach for internationals might be a fantastic idea for countries to try.
But yeah anyway big moans going on about Langer only while those jokers spoke under the veil of anonymity, the journo with the scoop went and did the balancing thing by asking Langer to respond to the accusations... which he did so rather firmly. So what you got was an article which played like a call and response (or more accurately: moan and defend). Sorta like the neighbours having a big argument while you play with your tonka trucks in the backyard accidentally overhearing it all.
Remember that this team has to win 2-3 games in South Africa to knock us out of the Test Championship final and supposing that tour even goes ahead (you may have heard the words: ‘South African Strain’ a few times recently) it’ll mean that entire Aussie Test squad living out of a hotel resort all in close proximity to each other where minor personal issues could be blown up into The Shining level proportions. At this point I’m pretty confident we’ll make that big decider at Lords, though I’ve got too much Blackcaps PTSD to start thinking about us maybe winning a rare trophy, but a little dysfunction in the Aussie camp doesn’t go astray.
Then there’s this aspect of the story...
A what now? A toasted sandwich in ya dirty, dusty, sweaty pocket for nibbling on during a Test match? Tastefulness and Australia are words that truly do not go together.
And on this subject it’s pretty hard not to agree with Langer when he says that smuggling foreign objects onto the field in your pants in full view of television cameras is probably not the best decision considering how that’s worked out for the team in recent years. It’s only a few letters difference between SANDWICH and SANDPAPER. (The: “is that not something I should say?” bit at the end of his quote is hilarious too coz it shows Langer’s definitely playing off the backfoot here, lol).
Not to mention how disgusting that is, what’s if you get cheese all through your pockets – who’s gonna clean that up? Or if there’s spaghetti in that sucker and you have to dive for a catch onto that hip. It’d be carnage. But apparently this isn’t an isolated incident within Australian cricket...
Question is: Who is the Toastie Bandit? Well there is a working theory going around on the interwebs which has a lot to do with this video in which Marnus Labuschagne professes his love for a good Toastie...
Curiously, Twitter Dot Com has also revealed that Marnus played a stint for ‘Sandwich Town CC’ in England a few years back. Averaged 76 across 34 innings.
Fascinating, my dear Watson. Simply fascinating.
Some Rapid Reaction Wellington Phoenix Thoughts:
That was actually quite a crap performance after they conceded the goal. Second half was a mess, couldn’t get the ball out of their own half most of the time, looked vulnerable to any form of aerial ball into the box, fellas were hoofing clearances into their own players... but after playing majestically in patches the last two games and not winning either that’s fine. Sign of a decent team to be able to survive and advance like that.
James McGarry’s attacking play is fantastic. He’s instantly come in and offered a similar variety of skills to what Libby Cacace had. He can dribble, he can cross, he’s got composure in those areas... actually don’t think we’ve lost hardly anything there. But defensively it’s not a contest. McGarry’s still got a few things to learn – Cacace’s veteran savvy as a teenager really was an anomaly. And McGarry was usually a centre forward in his WeeNix days.
Tomer Hemed with his first assist. Little reverse roll under his foot (not a backheel, no heel was involved, sort it out people). We need him to be a hefty goal scorer but as he eases in it’s pretty endearing to see him being a part of a beautiful goal like that. Shout out to Uli Davila for the hit too. Naturally.
Alex Rufer’s forward passes are amazing. The ball over the top for the winner was incredible but the thing is he’s always looking for options like that, either over the top or to a striker’s feet. Getting the ball in the kind of areas where things can happen.
And THAT, friends, is what Jaushua Sotirio can do. That run, combined with the strength to hold his ground and then the sneaky decent finish at the end, is a unique thing to his skill set within this squad. Yes, he misses a lot of dumb ones. Yes, he has probably been overused in games. But having someone like that to bring off the bench when you’re chasing a goal is a very good thing.
Also, terrible defending. First in playing the man not the ball when he could have stepped up and cleared it on the full, then in still somehow letting the ball sneak through to Sotirio anyway. The amount of shaky moments the Welly Nix had in defence this game and that was how we won it... beauty.
Going back to last season this win snaps a streak of eight games without a win, it also snaps an equal streak since they last scored twice in a match.
Quick interlude before getting into the latest Premmy Files XI to partake in some righteous headbanging...
And now...
Men’s Premiership Team of the Week – Week 10
GK – Cameron Brown (Auckland City) – Slightly uneasy about this because he only really made one unexpected save... but it was a penalty save while the score was still 1-0 so it was preeetty important. Browny was also the only bloke with a clean sheet. Nick Draper had a very good game but conceded three times. Alex Paulsen also saved a penalty and made one stop with his right foot that was the best open play save of the week for sure... but even I didn’t think I could pick a keeper who lost 8-0 in this spot.
RB – Andrew Blake (Auckland City) – Just his second start of the season and he had a point to prove, linking up beautifully with Mohamed Awad up the right wing as ACFC served up another one of those unstoppable attacking performances. Cheeky clean sheet too, of course.
CB – Adam Mitchell (Auckland City) – The other CB was the one who scored but there’s only room for one in this team and Mitchell was so good. A team like Hawke’s Bay are a tricky prospect, they’ll hit you unexpectedly with pace on the break and Mitchell (and Kaltack too, though he contributed to the penalty concession so that was a deal breaker) kept them to pretty much nothing. After a slow first half of the season AM is starting to seriously get it going now.
CB – Tino Contratti (Hamilton Wanderers) – Absolute heartbreak at the end there to not hold on for the win but Contratti was the main reason they were still in front going into injury time anyway. After their shocking defensive showing last week, Tino was the main man in a much improved effort this time. Aggressive in the challenge, dominant in the air, tidy as always in possession. Unlucky, chief.
LB – Rory McKeown (Team Wellington) – McKeown to Watson... Goal. Those are the four words you need to memorise most if you’re commentating on the TeeDubs these days. McKeown’s crossing is on a next level. Team Welly have scored eight goals in their last two games and McKeown has five assists including all three of them for Watson’s hatty this week. Could’ve had five more with all the quality he’s serving up.
CM – Gerard Garriga Gibert (Waitakere United) – Second week in a row he’s gotten on the scoresheet but the real wonder here was how well he marshalled this Waitak midfield in the absence of Sam Burfoot. It was such a well-planned assault on Team Wellington, the organisation and the selective pressing and the swarming start that earned them which led to a famous victory. Triple G was at the heart of it all.
CM – Reid Drake (Eastern Suburbs) – Could have defs chucked someone like Cam Howieson in there, as if there aren’t enough ACFC dudes in this team already, coz at times it felt like Reid Drake wasn’t as involved as he could have been particularly while Subs were still being frustrated at 0-0 in the first half hour. But when Drakey did start swishing the paintbrush over the canvas he produced the goods. Got a couple goals in a cheeky 8-0 win... there ya go.
CM – Yousif Ali Al-Kalisy (Auckland City) – See below, basically. YAA came into this team at a time when they needed some extra punch from midfield and this was the peak of that. Just like Awad, he hovered around and caused trouble all arvo, getting a goal for himself in the process. Won back heaps of ball too which just kept those waves of City attacks flowing over and over.
FW – Mohamed Awad (Auckland City) – There aren’t too many players in this league who can compete with Awad in top form and on a day like City had in Napier when there’s movement all around him... it’s a joy to watch. Awad sparkled all over that game and scored a beautiful little goal to reward the hustle but even without that strike he’d still have walked into this side.
FW – Hamish Watson (Team Wellington) – Three goals and he’s gone top of the golden boot chart. They lost 4-3 so it probably doesn’t feel as triumphant as it should but on the other hand he kept his team in that game after a rubbish start and the confidence he’s playing with at the moment is amazing. He plays with utter disdain for any defender who has the gall to try and mark him.
FW – Ryan Feutz (Eastern Suburbs) – That game was an abomination but you simply cannot ignore the dude who scored four. Feutz missed a penalty too so it could’ve been more. Against an undermanned (literally) WeeNix defence there was no guarding him. Nothing they could do as Feutz looked like he could score at will. And he pretty much did. Hell of a talent, this hombre.