El Niche cache
September 18, 2020
Reading Menu
Union Bargaining, Broadcasting Dramas & Player Departures: Welcome To The Welly Nix’s 2020 Offseason (Football)
Kiwi-NRL Encyclopedia: Round Tekau Ma Iwa (NRL)
Monday Morning Dummy Half: Morgan Harper and Aotearoa's Young Forwards (NRL)
White Ferns In Australia: The Squad (Cricket)
27fm Sounds of Aotearoa: Mid-September 2020 (Music)
Flying Kiwis – September 15 (Football)
27fm Weekly Niche Cache Playlist: September 14 (Music)
The Niche Cast Podcast
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Scotty’s Word
A couple quick NZ Warriors notes to start…
The most over-rated aspect of NRL footy is discussion around player salaries and salary cap space.
Sure, I’d love for the NRL to change their rules with this to provide greater transparency and a whole new pocket to explore as folks can break down cap space etc (NBA/NFL etc does this super well). I deal with the parameters given though and no one, not you, your mate, or one of these illustrious NRL journalists knows player salaries. Maybe they know a figure, but they don’t know the finer details of the contracts and to pretend that there are any insights to offer is false.
Is that the best way? No, transparency would be great. However having been deeply entrenched in NRL matters for a few years; don’t be that guy/girl pretending to know how much cap space the Warriors have or how to manipulate contracts because no one fucking knows.
Addin Fonua-Blake…
Bit of a whirlwind day or two since this broke and while I reckon it could be likely, just relax until stuff gets made official. The Warriors have been linked to every decent and half-decent NRL player in recent years and that’s fine, yet that serves as a reminder to let things flow. Yes, Fonua-Blake would help out immensely and this would initially be made a lot easier as the Warriors are highly likely to be based in Redcliffe next season assuming covid stuff lingers - as is the case for any other Aussie signing.
Phil Gould and Peter O’Sullivan…
I settled on a quick, clear explanation for why the Gould/O’Sullivan combo can only really be good for NZ Warriors. Chatting with a homie, I laid it out in the context of Auckland football…
We’re working with our local club Papatoetoe United, while Gould is in charge of Central United and O’Sullivan runs Western Springs United. For a decade, Gould and O’Sullivan have scouted and recruited the best juniors from Papatoetoe, pouring effort and resource into ensuring that they have a pipeline of talent. Now, Gould and O’Sullivan are both working for Papatoetoe United to ensure that that exit valve is fixed up and Papatoetoe United is built adequately to keep the talent they want to keep.
NZ Warriors will hand the 13th Kiwi-NRL debut to Tom Ale in their game vs Canberra Raiders and this sparked a few ponderings…
In 2017 the Warriors brought Ale (originally from Auckland), Hayze Perham and Selestino Ravutaumada to the club from Rotorua Boys High School. This was the first move of a connection between the Warriors and Rotorua rugby league, which then saw Cassius Cowley signed from Rotorua and he’s in the Warriors system, attending MAGS where he’s ranked 19th in HS Top 200’s top-20 Year 12 players.
The Warriors have been busy making the most of that connection with Rotorua with the likes of Tamiro Armstrong, Ngakohu Walker and Tome Poona linking up with the Future Warriors (U16). Like Cowley moving up to Auckland to play 1st 15 rugby, Armstrong is at Auckland Grammar playing 1st 15 rugby and while that’s a trend, Walker is a head prefect at RBHS.
RBHS is a key factor here. Ale, Perham and Ravutaumada were all able to play rugby league and rugby union for their school; all three were named in the 2017 Chiefs Under 18 squad and the NZ Secondary Schools Team (league).
Things are slightly different in Auckland, for example: Warriors juniors like Francis Manuleleua (HS Top 200 rank him 1st for Year 11s) has been signed to the Warriors since he was 13 and plays 1st 15 rugby for Kings College.
RBHS allow their kids to play league and union for the school - or school union and club league. In Auckland, the Warriors have juniors at big 1st 15 schools but those schools have too much union pride to have 1st 13 league teams, so that’s not possible and I’d strongly suggest that they can’t play club league. That’s all good because it’s 1st 15 rugby for the school and league with the Warriors.
Another notable RBHS product is Tukimihia Simpkins who is with North Queensland Cowboys. Simpkins was part of that same RBHS 2017 group as mentioned above, playing in the same NZSS league team and (obviously he had plenty of various honours/rep teams) was in the Chiefs U18 squad in 2018.
Low key: the Cowboys have a bunch of Kiwi-NRL prospects. Simpkins is coming through, plus Greymouth’s Griffin Neame who played in the Under 19 Junior Kiwis last year and Northland’s Wiremu Greig. Simpkins and Greig are both listed at 192cm tall - Nelson Asofa-Solomona’s listed at 200cm.
Swing back to Ale and of the 13 Kiwi-NRL debutants this year, Ale is one of five who played 1st 15 rugby in Aotearoa; Ale (RBHS), Eliesa Katoa (Tamaki College), Matthew Timoko (AGS), Christian Tuipulotu (St Pauls), Connelly Lemuelu (Tangaroa College), Jackson Ferris (Palmerston North Boys High School).
Two more played 1st 15 rugby in Australia after moving across the ditch; Emry Pere (Southport School - GC), Daejarn Asi (Brisbane Grammar).
This is merely to highlight how easily this kids move between the codes and that Aotearoa surely has the highest concentration of footy talent in the world.
A couple big ol’ City Kickboxing interviews were dropped this week, the first with Eugene Bareman and then Israel Adesanya. I’m definitely of the belief that Adesanya is the most fascinating kiwi sports star at the moment, while anyone with a slither of sports coaching in their loins could view Bareman in the same light - Bareman’s low key fascinating and hence I mention him often. Below those interviews are a couple of videos to get you started on Mike ‘Blood’ Diamond and Carlos Ulberg who Bareman recently mentioned as being on the cusp of breaking into the UFC. I believe Blood Diamond and Ulberg stayed at CKB during their lockdown ‘marae styles’ training camp to help their UFC comrades prepare, plus Ulberg’s definitely traveled with the team - not sure about Diamond.
International sport?
I don’t know about y’all but I’m loving the domestic sport within Aotearoa and all the fun wrinkles on offer. With all the niggle around trying to get international fixtures sorted in this climate, lock it up and keep everything within Aotearoa. We are the best sporting nation in the world and sports organisations should focus on creative ways to host events withing Aotearoa - maybe a genuine North vs South series of fixtures (genuine, serious North vs South stuff and not a trial-game with loose North/South affiliations).
Israel Adesanya is the most fascinating kiwi sports star and Devon Conway’s Blackcaps journey is the most fascinating kiwi sports yarn.
In what month will Devon Conway make his Blackcaps debut?
In what format will Devon Conway make his Blackcaps debut?
Ponder it and holla back.
Wildcard’s Notebook
Oh man, I watched Event Horizon for the first time earlier this week. One of those movies that had popped up a few times in various things I’d read or seen to where I had to see what the fuss was about... and it did not disappoint. The premise is that a bunch of future astronauts head deep into space to look for a spacecraft that had gone missing inexplicably seven years earlier. Laurence Fishburne leads the team, while Aotearoa’s own Sam Neill is along for the ride as a scientist with some slightly suspicious motives.
Event Horizon had some difficulties when it was released, culminating a very humbling 28% on Rotten Tomatoes. Basically the studio rushed it forward to sit in the pocket before Titanic was released which affected the post-production, particularly the final edit – this is a movie screaming out for a Director’s Cut. It’s also a tricky film to categorise as it looks like a sci-fi but plays like a psychological horror. Add it all together and you’ve got the ingredients for a large-scale tank... which is outrageous because that movie is amazing.
I thought I was pretty clever while watching when I came up with the line: ‘The Shining... but in space!’. Then I read a few things afterwards and it turns out every jerry and their dog has used that line to describe this movie. But it works. The methods and the scenery are changed but this is a haunted house story. There are definite supernatural elements, there are ghostly visions, there is a house/spaceship which takes on the relevance of a character itself. Not to mention the Jack Torrance-esque slowly deteriorating mindset of Sam Neill’s doctor – who is playing an Australian in case you’re wondering about the diplomatic ramifications, in fact there’s a cool story about that...
I don’t really wanna say anything more because it’s one of those films where the less you know the better. Just know that it’s a space horror of almost gothic proportions. By the last twenty odd minutes it’s still The Space Shining but it’s also Hellraiser with hints of Cronenberg. An insane movie with a delightfully unhinged performance from Sam Neill and... yeah, like I say I don’t wanna say too much. It’s on Netflix. Cult classic vibes all over it.
Top Five Sam Neill Performances...
Possession (1983)
Hunt For The Wilderpeople (2016)
Event Horizon (1997)
Peaky Blinders (2013-Present)
Jurassic Park (1993)
Well, yesterday was a pretty stink day for kiwi football. The All Whites had that game with Belgium all lined up, they were hoping to add a game against Mexico to the mix... but they’ve had to cancel it because of the logistics. Can’t get enough players involved. Even for the dudes based in Europe there have still been too many hassles with travel bans and quarantines and everything – if some one like Joe Bell has to isolate when he gets back to Norway then that’s 3-4 games he’ll miss for his club team because of that.
Understandable... but it’s a pain in the arse, it really is. We’re just at a big disadvantage geographically and there’s not a lot we can do about it – though I will say the loss of these games wouldn’t have hit so hard if we’d actually been playing regular international football beforehand, because that’s the problem. Cancelling the Belgium game was completely fair, just as the cancelled games against Oman and Bahrain earlier in the year couldn’t go ahead, but the lack of games for ages now have left this team exposed by the ramifications of the pandemic.
We do still have the game against England booked in for a month later in the November window and there’s hope we’ll play the USA in England in the same window to make it a double-banger. The situation is slightly easier in England so that one should still go ahead... but when it does we’ll be polishing off a three year period in which the All Whites played a mere six times. Average of two games a year.
How the hell are you supposed to build a decent team when they never even play? The majority of those six games didn’t even have full strength squads. It’s always money money money when these decisions get explained and I know that’s a legit hurdle to figure out but goddammit this is downright negligent. A successful All Whites team competing at World Cups is the best way to bring some large cash dividends our way. Playing games is an investment. Find a way to make it work. The game is rigged against us, we don’t have that proximity or the population or the facilities or any of that... when the English FA need a few dollars they host a friendly at a sold-out Wembley and count the gate takings (it’ll be an empty Wembley when we play them in November)... so get creative. New Zealand is used to being the underdog in these situations. It doesn’t take much to trace these fallen dominoes back to the administrative chaos of NZ Football over the last decade.
The All Whites are only part of the issue. Let’s not forget that there’s no chance of any Football Ferns matches before the end of 2020 either. They did at least get a go back in March with the Algarve Cup but with the Olympics happening next year and plenty that needs to be addressed after the last World Cup there’s not a lot going on there either. Again though, it’s not a new drama. My motto from the start of the pandemic has been that covid hasn’t created new problems (other than the obvious one) so much as it has exacerbated and magnified existing ones. The lack of fixtures for both the All Whites and Footy Ferns is being felt way harder because they already weren’t playing enough.
As if that wasn’t enough for ya, we’ve also had word that the hopes of the Wellington Phoenix getting a team into the W-League next season have been dashed too. Gonna have to wait another year for that to happen, another pain in the arse given that the 2023 World Cup isn’t getting any further away. The pando has caused those expansion plans to be delayed and I can’t help but feel this is the W-League shooting themselves in the foot because they’re in a delicate place with how many top players – especially the Matildas internationals who draw in the crowds – having departed the league for European clubs recently, the confusing state of the competition definitely a part of that. That exodus includes Rebekah Stott by the way. Now they’re missing out on the injection of a new fanbase from the Welly Nix... although I doubt the Nix are in much of a place to afford to pay for a women’s team at the mo’ either. Man, I hate it so much when money and admin get in the way of the footy.
Chuck in the Steven Taylor departure which comes as a direct result of the parallel confusion over the A-League’s future and wow what a terrible few days it has been. Taylor’s leaving has already had a write-up, there’s some funky (funky in a bad way) stuff going on with the new collective bargaining agreement negotiations that could yet get even uglier – there’s been mixed messages about which clubs are paying their players fully at the moment and who ain’t. Safe to say the Nix are in the ain’t column. They simply can’t afford to – their finances right now are about as pretty as Sam Neill’s face at the end of Event Horizon. What a mess that entire league is in.
So... that’s all kinda depressing. Best let The Lemonheads cheer you up, shout out to Evan Dando whatever he’s up to these days.
Also there’s been this meme going around Twitter where you drop four screenshots from “four films that you’re pretty sure you like more than anyone else you know”. And, mate, I’ve given this some thought. Not so much going with my favourite films, per se, or the movies I think are the absolute greatest... more like an underrated quartet.
This is what I came up with...
